Today's Reading

MAKING SENSE IN THE DARKNESS

Somewhere along the line, I heard the term introvert. It was a fairly new term to me since nobody was talking much about it at that time. I looked up the definition: "A person who prefers calm environments, limits social engagement, or embraces a greater than average preference for solitude...characterized by concern primarily with their own thoughts and feelings."

For the first time, I saw words that described how I felt that didn't seem negative. It didn't feel like the bad thing I had been trying to overcome but a normal thing for the way I was wired. It turned out that researchers have been studying introversion for over a hundred years. But most of that time, there was an underlying assumption: extroversion was positive and desirable, and introversion was negative and undesirable. For example, most studies used a measuring scale where extroverted behavior was at the top of the scale (desirable) and introverted behavior was at the bottom (undesirable). So, the "ideal" was at one end, and the other end was the "opposite of ideal."

This would be like saying, "beach vacations (score of 100) are better than mountain vacations (score of 0)." The person making that scale was probably sitting on the sand with a bunch of noisy friends and saying, "It just doesn't get any better than this." Then someone else says, "I wonder what a mountain vacation would be like ?" The group responds, "BORING! Why would anybody want to vacation in the mountains?" The underlying assumption is that everyone knows that a beach vacation is great, so everything else is measured against that standard. Since a trip to the mountains would be a "non-beach" vacation, it must be at the opposite end of the fun scale.

That type of introvert measurement was still happening in the late 1980s, around the same time Dr. Stephen Covey described how society switched from valuing character to personality as the criteria for success. Previously, people respected a person based on how much they were characterized by integrity, humility, courage, patience, industry, and so on—not on how gregarious or outgoing they were. But when people learned they could get better results by displaying the characteristics of an extrovert, it became the new standard. Want success in life, friendships, and business? Pretend to be more outgoing and friendly, and position yourself to make others like you.

Introversion wasn't something to be applauded and valued. With personality as the primary measurement, introverts were considered "not extroverts"—which meant that introversion was something to be fixed.

THE SHIFT

In 2003, Jonathan Rauch wrote an article in the Atlantic called "Caring for Your Introvert" that went viral (in a mostly nondigital world). "Introverts may be common," he said. "But they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world." I felt the empathy immediately, as if someone was finally giving a voice to my inner conundrum. It was like a glass of ice water in the heat of the Arizona desert where I'd grown up.

Around the same time, Marti Olsen Laney published The Introvert Advantage, one of the first books to build a comprehensive case for the value of introverts. Then Susan Cain presented a TED Talk called "The Power of Introverts," which still ranks among the most-viewed TED Talks of all time more than ten years later. She followed it in 2012 with her bestselling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, which touched a chord in the lives of millions of introverts who suddenly felt noticed and validated. In 2020, Holly Gerth wrote The Powerful Purpose of Introverts, and people who had struggled their entire lives with feeling "less than" began to see that they had something of great value to offer the world and didn't have to be at the mercy of those expecting them to be something they weren't.

The floodgates were opened, and more and more resources have been developed that carry this message for introverts: You're OK just the way you are—and you're designed to make a difference. People have found freedom from years of being compared to extroverts. We aren't just worth accepting; we're worth celebrating for the unique contribution we make in society.

There's still a long way to go, but the foundation has been built. That's step one. Not every introvert has realized their personal value, but the resources to help them get there are finally available. We've built a case for the remarkable value of introversion.

"That's great," the introvert says. "I see that I have something to contribute. I feel a lot better now—but I still have to work in a world of extroverts. I need practical skills for daily taking my place alongside other temperaments and navigating that world with precision. I need help working with people who might measure my performance by the outgoing, high-energy standards of extroverts. How can I be completely myself and contribute on an equal footing with extroverts in a business setting?"

That's step two, and it's the focus of this book.
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***** TABLE OF CONTENTS *****

INTRODUCTION

1. Where the Journey Began

Part 1: Introverts at Work
2. The Introvert Revival
3. Mind Games
4. Myth Busters
5. How to Talk to Yourself

Part 2: The Seven Master Moves
6. Learning to Speak Extrovert
7. Managing Energy for Peak Performance
8. Creating Influence through Gentle Persuasion
9. Building Trust
10. Nurturing Emotional Intelligence
11. Customizing Your Work Environment
12. Ensuring Success through Intentional Preparation

Part 3: Thriving at Work
13. Crafting Your Career
14. Working Well with Others
15. Becoming Visible
16. Leading Your People
17. Communicating with Confidence
18. Focusing on a Greater Purpose

A Final Perspective for Introverts
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